[–]jqmc9999[S] 9 points10 points11 points 3 years ago (1 child). However, I feel like he could be doing more house chores. But now, I feel like I have to take on whatever gigs comes my way so we don't fall behind financially and because you never know when a dry spell will come. What gets me the most, is that I haven't had a meal in a long time where I wasn't interrupted or basically never have the chance to sit down and eat. [–]PlanZuid 11 points12 points13 points 3 years ago (0 children). Part of the problem is time, says Jenna Rogers, a certified financial planner in … I’m getting that the husband should act as a boss to his wife… That doesn’t seem right. He gets angry and mad that he can't enjoy his meal. Essentially she gets "paid" a few thousand every month to spend on whatever she wants because in their relationship he's also the stingy/frugal one and she wants to have more pocket money for fun things. Little writing assignments weren’t going to cut it anymore. He was the baby of … It feels extremely restrictive and quite frankly humiliating. The bird knows the car is dangerous, but doesn't know how to escape and accelerates to it's death. Learn more by clicking the link below. To this day it's a running gag that me cleaning toilets is seen as soooo sexy by my wife. Take care of a cat, I don't like cats. Lately I've been so irritated with that fact that our babies, almost 3 year old son and 1 year old daughter bother him when he's trying to eat. My home used to be my safe haven and now, it's a mess...and it stresses me out!!! Her powerful post has been liked over 640,000 times and shared by more than 300,000 people. It's not really a failure on anyone's part...life and children are a lot to keep up with and balance. Still hold each other’s hands. I am so proud of you!!! I also don't understand why they have to be mean about it. As long as you've got the kid in eyesight you can do all sorts of stuff in the meantime. 100%. He recently retired from the military and he’s taking a break before entering the civilian work force. My husband and I have talked about doing that, once we have children. That’s just part of being married. I'm always eating on the go. That is just life on Reddit. Coffee to be set up every morning, so he could just press the start button. I don't feel like I matter sometimes. Society teaches men to be manly, then when he does exactly what he is taught he is apparently the stupid one. It’s not. I don't understand why this is being downvoted. All toys to be put away in living area so he doesn't step on anything. You can't solve anything if that isn't settled. Your husband has a safety net. [–]V4NESS4 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (1 child). You work, so the "I don't want to starve or live in my parents basement" motivation isn't kicking in. Wow, he really has embraced full role reversal. The stay at home parent should be doing 100% of the housework, and childcare if they don't have any income. And I don't know why. Stay At Home Husband. I am on mommy duty, doing dishes, cleaning up after dinner, doing bath time with the baby and the night time routine and running a business. This bot wants to find the best and worst bots on Reddit. Most submissions should be self-posts. A stay-at-home-mum has taken to Reddit to complain of her husband treating her like a live-in maid and expecting her to raise their daughter, manage the household, cook and clean while he goes to work. Cooking is not that time consuming. HELP! We also have a large house, so it requires a lot of work, and it'll be more than we can keep up with, when the demands of a baby are added into the mix. When I started my stay-at-home mom journey, our home felt imbalanced and just a little bit off. Please assist the mods and report inappropriate posts, users, and comments. The numbers prove a change is happening: A 2015 study of … Sotiris Filippou/ShutterstockIf a stay-at-home mom charged what she was actually worth, she'd make upwards of $162,000 a year. 2) A position he expects to have is not available. It … I always loved to see couple and dreamed even when young me as the wife. Posts must contain marriage-related content in the link/post body, not just a "forced" connection via the title or a caption added to the content. WoahBabay explained in her Reddit post that she's due with her first child in January and that her husband will stay home while continuing to take online classes for his master's degree. Tired of constantly hearing the phrase “but what do you do all day?”, Florida-based tattoo artist Ryshell Castleberry decided to write a tribute to all stay-at-home mothers and housewives via Facebook. [–]V4NESS4 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (5 children). Thank you heywhatsmynameagain for voting on ThisCatMightCheerYou. Link submissions that foster discussion are allowed from active members. I'm 32 and I don't see a clear deadline for when I can return to work. If he is going to stay home, he needs to take on the responibilities of a stay at home spouse. Q: My husband has trouble realizing how much I do caring for the house and kids each day. If it works for you, do it. Long story short, he lost his job last year while I [33/F] was 5 months pregnant with our 1st child (he was fired because they refused to give him a raise and then he purposely stopped trying - but that's another story!) SAHM demands 50 percent of husband's salary or she'll go back to work. Any housework that gets done on top of that is gravy. My husband … (At the moment, we have no children) That's why I said mostly. I did it for 5 years. You can also get groceries delivered through Amazon or invest in a rumba if it'll save you time and help your sanity. It's a monetary investment, but it might take some of that burden off you. As far as I know, neither did my husband. I'm tired of answering people individually. Proud idiots. It paid the bills for two years until I got a job in my original field again (it was during the recession). It's stressful. Have certain foods at all times in the fridge. I don't know how that'll be, but I'm going to take it one day at a time. He felt like the boss of the household. Surveys and research may be approved on a case-by-case basis with prior coordination of the mods if and only if such research is scientific or academic and if the results will be published publicly without a paywall. Very impressive ladies who treated their homemaker duties as seriously as a job. So maybe I can have a meal in peace. He would need to check in regularly on his progress and be accountable. At a time when we were expecting a baby. Reality is based on perception, if you test the limits, we'll likely err on the side of you or your comments getting blocked. I'm back to work now. And women friends of mine have heard dudes drop the "I'd love to be a stay-at-home husband" line on a date. So I understand where he is coming from, from an archaic perspective. But a little appreciation will go a long way for me. More like a bird panicking and flying into the moving car when the driver honks the horn in an attempt to scare the bird away. That's wonderful if both parents came to that decision together and discussed the sacrifices that would need to be made in order to sustain a one- income household. Being a stay at home mom is 100% a choice that many women don't have. I'm just thinking maybe one day he'll realize or someone will see how much I do and mention it to him. Growing old together! When my ex-husband came home from work, I gave him the space he snapped at me that he needed and convinced myself that our relationship was normal. Especially where there are none. But he'd come home from his shift and starts playing. That has not happened yet. Also, my son is fast approaching his first birthday, so I'm also for socializing him and having him interact with other children. (29F) My sister (26F) and her two kids (5/3F) are moving in and my amazing husband (30M) built a bed for the one who doesn't have one. Don’t let all of the judgment about being a stay-at-home dad affect you in … I dreamed of assuming the female role just like the other wives I envied. Why do people have such an issue with this? I've been talking to my sister who's also a SAHM and she says her and her husband have an agreement where she's "paid" for childcare/homekeeping. Behavior whose sole purpose is meant to frighten, harass, attack, diminish, infuriate, insult, or manipulate another will, similarly, not be tolerated. That is being the opposite of a man. I only feel this way because I think you have a poor attitude. I'm pretty sure if my husband still had a job, I would not be taking on as many photography jobs for the sake of spending time with the baby and keeping up with the house chores. It sounds like you feel like your husband doesn’t treat you fairly. Getting fired is a huge blow to your self esteem and job hunting can really grind in the message of "you're a failure" too. So now I'm the sole breadwinner. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. Question: I am 19 and a (mostly) stay at home wife. He probably is afraid of being a failure of a man and doesn't want to (or doesn't know how to) communicate about his emotions (more of a failure) and doesn't want to fail at getting another job (even more of a failure). This is a pro-marriage equality subreddit. He got himself a ps5 a month ago. "The new normal - stay-at-home Diwali party! My husband [34/M] is a stay at home dad. Perhaps when you suggest that he be more active in finding a job, you're reminding his sub-consciousness of the fact that he got fired and is currently unemployed, and is not fulfilling the societal expectations of a man to be the breadwinner (stupid as they are). However, the biggest issue is this was not a decision that was discussed or planned. and fear of rejection in the job hunt. 3.5 k a month for 12 months is over 40k. I got laid off one time and, with three kids to support, it was terrifying. He's letting the family down and is not doing his share. Witnessing how they would work around their home and interact with their husband and children, as well as their words of wisdom, would make me swell with happiness and only added more to the fire. Recently, an anonymous woman turned to the Reddit thread "Am I the Assh*le" to determine whether or not it's fair to ask her husband to pay her for staying home with their 1 … But it's his decision not to look for a job and not consider taking a lesser paying job in the interim. He needs to sack up and be a man. I'm sorry my reply somewhat turned into a vent. Keep the patio concrete floor clean. No submissions or comments from media marketers, personal blogs, podcasts or videos, donation requests, affiliate links, or any other attempts to use our community for profit, marketing etc. Get a kid sling and strap the child onto you and sweep and vacuum. Your husband is using pride as a vehicle for laziness. Clean during nap time. If you want pocket change to spend, you have to be able to afford child care on your salary since you decided you no longer wanted to save that money. This might be helpful for when your children are older and can be added into the mix. My husband and I pretty much keep our finances separate and we still have conversations about purchases over ~$125+, This thread has been locked by the moderators of r/AmItheAsshole, More posts from the AmItheAsshole community. I haven't changed my name or my wife's because I want people to know who we are. Respect others and their points of view while participating in the sub by maintaining civil discourse. But the women I was raised around managed just fine to clean, cook, and take care of their children as homemakers because it was expected and not optional like it is today. If it works for you, do it. Do a little bit each day and soon all you will have is maintenance cleaning, which is not too time consuming. [–]jqmc9999[S] 10 points11 points12 points 3 years ago* (7 children). I am a bot. [–]V4NESS4 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (3 children). He might even be doing this cope (if a person can't cry, they cope in other ways). 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